May, the Census and picking a Religion

Hello all. It seems that Jim Roeg has listened up and isn't an liar like I suspected. Also Dorian shows us that the internet is a valuable learning tool.

On May 16th the Canadian Census is happening. I am going to ask everyone who comes here to comment on which of the following should be my religion. I will list the pros and cons of both.

Choice #1: Jedi

Pros:

• Force powers like being able to do jumping flips and moving inanimate objects so cleaning the bathroom would be a snap.
• There’s also the Jedi mind trick (which I can only ever say in a Jabba the Hutt voice) which would help getting VIP ticket to concerts or jumping lines at clubs or full restaurants.
• And naturally the lightsabre. I ask you what red-blooded male hasn’t wanted a lightsabre? Plus if you get a purple one you could find all the lint on your clothes.
• You get to wear a beard year round.
• Loose fitting robes so you don’t have to worry about your wardrobe clashing.

Cons:

• Could turn to the dark side (although the red light saber is a pro in my book)
• Loose fitting robes and beards aren’t for everyone
• Only talking in riddles and quotations
• It’s make believe

Choice #2: Voodoo

Pros:

• Army of zombies.
• Voodoo dolls to help with tax audits.
• Speaking in tongues.
• General lack of clothing, a lot of fires and dancing.
• Spitting rum into fires to make fireballs
• Top hats, painted skulls and the whole skull/bone motif is pretty badass.

Cons:

• Where do you get all those damn roosters?
• Lack of fire-rum-breathing coaches
• You need rhythm.
• Pappa Shango
• I can’t stand white dudes in dread locks who think drumming is “spiritual” then go hackysack in their adbuster brand name sneakers because they won’t sell out to the system man. I wouldn’t want to talk to them much.
• Fingernail clippings and hair clippings are a bit too prevalent.