Tuesday, March 28, 2006

More movies because I won't be reading the V for Vendetta comic until this weekend at the earliest

Because I'm finding it hard to read more than one Superman story in a sitting (I'm wondering what the hell I'm going to do with that Superman Family Collection) I'm posting more about movies instead of comics. Just sit down and take your medicine.

So after I went to see V for Vendetta this weekend I found out that The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe was playing at the local second-run double feature cinema in my neighbourhood. I used to love this place, they would do these amazing theme nights where you could see Princess Mononoke and Akira back to back or something like The Matrix followed by Blade Runner. Then they started to just put random crap together and decided that cleaning wasn’t in their operational mandate. Allison says she’s afraid she’ll get fleas whenever we go in there and we generally spend about five to ten minutes looking for two seats next to each other without crap on them.

Anyway! We saw the movie and enjoyed it tremendously. I especially loved how the “evil” animals were all white. Very unique visuals. And yet I was reminded why I didn’t like the series as a kid. I read one of the books and was extremely bored. I guess I was too old or something. The same feelings came back as I was watching the movie. There was all this spectacular stuff in an amazing world and the story focused on the dullest aspect. I don’t care about some kid’s conversation with a lion, I want to see the ogre and the minotaur fight the centaurs. I want to know more about the place and the creatures and not simply focus on that which I already know. I’m a person, I’m following the people into the world so let’s explore the world and not the people. It sounds major but it really isn’t. I’m just putting together my thoughts now that I can – I wasn’t as eloquent when I was ten. I said it’s boring and sucky back then.

Then on Sunday I watched the History Channel and they played Red Dawn on History on Film. I lived through the eighties, I don’t remember that incident. I also remember actually liking that movie. Now it is just hilarious. I mean they drink the blood of an animal. So much for giving blood now – what with the whole foot and mouth and mad-cow scares going on. I know I’m banned from giving blood because I lived in the UK for 3 years.

Anyway, this movie got me thinking about cool shit you don’t really see in movies that much anymore. A few weeks ago in the office we were talking about something or other and I went off talking about how Crossroads had one of the best ever endings. No, not the Britney Spears piece of shit, the Ralph Macchio one. It ends with a guitar duel against the devil and the devil is played by Steve Via! I think you hear the echo of Dave Campbell’s F#@$ Yeah! I actually convinced someone to rent the movie because of how much I love the idea of movies that contain guitar duels with the devil. I mean who wouldn’t? I don’t remember anything else about the movie – apparently it’s not that great but not completely horrible. I can’t remember anything other than the Karate Kid and the guitar battle.

So that got me thinking about other cool shit you don’t really see anymore – like the dystopian Russian Invasion. Now it’s all about aliens and stuff. I miss the whole cold war evil empire alternate world order thing that was going on in the eighties. Red Dawn has that in spades. I didn’t finish watching the movie because I had to finish some drywalling after I fixed a leaking pipe (yep, I am actually handy at D.I.Y.). But what it did have was the following:

- Patrick Swayze crying and swearing vengeance because his dad is in a re-education facility.
- Patrick Swayze’s dad screaming “Avenge me son! Aveeeengge Meeee!” without being shot or anything.
- A cold-war communist re-education facility that apparently consists of a chainlink fence surround a drive in theatre – yeah because those bastions of security have never been foiled.
- A whole bunch of people singing America the Beautiful or something like that really off key before they are gunned down in front of their families and the mayor.
- A shot of a bumper sticker with Charlton Heston’s “You’ll take this gun from me when you pry it from my cold dead hands” above a dead dude holding a glock.
- The Russians find all the gun owners because they gun owners were forced to register their fire arms.

But the reason I like this movie isn’t because of the fact that the Russians keep airplanes in a re-education facility without a runway (I think they have a clever set up involving catapults or trebuchets to launch the MIGs), but because the Russians attach a high-school as a primary target. Yeah, I guess that’s why I’m not a commie generalissimo I’d go after military targets and power/water stations first (maybe a bridge or two if they were on the way). Apparently the chess club and jocks are the TRUE threat present in America. Plus they’re called The Wolverines. Marvel is now freaking out.

Oh yeah, I was going to do a special “Stuff on my Bookshelf” week of posts but I haven’t gotten to it. It’s actually quite funny because all the stuff I was going to post on isn’t actually on my bookshelf but in boxes from the move. I’ll get to it at some point.

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