J-men

Dave, Mr. Longbox himself is currently having X-men week on his wonderous blog.

And since I’m more of a supporting actor than a leading actor I’m taking one of his briefly mentioned points and run with it. I’m going to present the version of the X-men I’d like to see with something of an explanation. Well, unless I get bored typing the stuff then I’ll just abruptly stop and end the post.

I’m going to have to provide myself with some limits otherwise my ideal team would be all the “good” mutants. So I’m going to limit myself to eight mutants because really I’d like the X-men to be a rotating cast of pretty much all of them. Oh wait they already each have their own series somewhere. Also, Professor X is a given, but I’d make him less of the hidden past of horrible dickery version we have and more of a Charlie or Bosley from Charlie’s Angels.

Angel
There’s not much to the guy I know but every team needs a punching bag right? Actually I really like the character because of this. He’s rich so he doesn’t really need to be with the X-men. He could always be on the verge of leaving or when things don’t go his way he can just take of business with his own resources. Plus there’s like gagillion poor-little rich-boy stories you could do monthly as well as the requisite, it’s the person not their financial situation that’s important.

Colossus
Here’s the muscle. We need someone who can punch bad guys through walls and throw cars or buses full of school children at the Juggernaut. I always liked when he’d get pushed to edge then stand toe-to-toe trading punches with anyone who tried to dish it out. Plus he’s player, even if he comes off as a creepy retarded uncle sometimes.

Shadowcat
I’ve always been a bit on the wall about Kitty Pryde until I read the Essential collection that she’s introduced in. She’s a plucky youngster with a pretty cool super power, I mean mutant ability. I think you can do a lot with a character that is both a mutant and Jewish if you’re writing about racial tolerance and other themes that have taken a backseat to boobs and multiple titles. She's one of the only X-women that hasn't annoyed me on some level. She's not a victim or femme fatale but clever and confident.

Wolverine
I like Wolverine because I like the idea of a smoking, drinking, bar fighting indestructible Jack Kerouac. There’s always been great moments of tenderness between him and the people he actually cares for or respects. The rest of the time they need someone who doesn’t pussyfoot about but goes straight for the jugular.

Nightcrawler
This is the one guy I was the least sure about. He’s a bit whiny and “oh woe is me” all the time or they make him religious. But I think the team needs at least one member who is very obviously a mutant. Plus “Bamph!”

Jamie Madrox
I’ve liked the idea of The Multiple Man since I first saw him in that horrendous green and yellow number. A very useful power this guy would have for pretty much any situation. Madrox can basically be the dues ex machina in any situation. “Ha ha, that was just a double that you killed so maybe now you’ll keep that temper in check Logan. I hope you learned your lesson.” I’d like to see this guy in the team but never really sure which version of him is the real one. Is this dealt with in the mini-series?

Storm
This is again, someone who can fly, is uber-powerful, and can basically be distant support for the team. Storm has always felt underused to me. There is a lot about her character that I feel is sort of crap because writers simply don’t know what to do with her. She’s still a blank slate to me, and I think to a lot of people. I'm not a huge fan of the whole, hey she's black she should be the proud black woman of the team aspect to her. I haven't read anything she's in recently so I'm not sure if she's been humanized a bit. I'd like to see her with a bit of a sense of humour and quite confidence like in Grant Morrison's All Star Superman or she's be all punk. Plus she'd need the mohawk again if she's on my team. In fact, so would everyone else I think for at least one issue.

The Wasp
Yes, the Wasp. Okay this is sort of me grasping at straws but I wanted another female character on the team and I’m not a big fan of Rogue or the rest of them. Maybe Marvel Girl but I decided to go this way. My thoughts are two fold. First, she could be on like a hero-exchange program between the X-men and The Avengers. Beast is with the Avengers, which is where I like him, and Wasp can be with the X-team. Second, I wanted anther woman on the team who isn’t young and or insecure with herself. Plus she has the leadership ability from The Avengers and would function well as a sort of hidden general on the battle field when she’s all waspish.

I think this gives the team a bit more of a spy agency, secret operative feel. They can function behind the scenes doing there own non-government sanctioned operations which always leads to stories about their hidden agenda. Let’s actually make them operate as if they have a hidden agenda. They want to work in the shadows, so lets put a team that is like the TV Alias. The only thing I’m missing is the technology guru but we can just rewrite Shadowcat to her Excalibur days when she was making alien jump gates or whatever, with her dragon.

Almost making the cut were Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Beast, Iceman and The Human Torch. I was thinking of going with a fire and ice combo but I couldn’t fit both on the team and when one went so did the other. Cyclops and Marvel Girl are your legacy characters but the whole Marvel Girl Pheonix thing is just too much to deal with. That horse is dead and I don’t want to go near that smell anymore. And without Marvel Girl there’s no point in having Cyclops since he and Wolverine won’t have the girl in the middle. I wanted Beast as the techy brilliant guy but I figured I’d go with new faces.

All images were borrowed from this place.