Dear Internet,
Sorry I haven’t written to you in a while. Life just sort of happened. I feel bad for not writing to you for the last four days which in nanoseconds is like four years to people. I think that to you, human time is like dog years to us humans. Sorry to get all metaphoric on you but I’ve been trying to write some fiction lately and I’m always thinking in metaphors now. I’m also adding “he said” or “she said” after every single sentence uttered to me. It’s kind of annoying but it’ll stop soon.
I’m glad you’re still around and haven’t gone off to pursue your other interests like herbal medicine and dead Sudanese royalty with many relatives in Canada that lawyers like to e-mail. How’s your Texas Hold ‘Em game these days? I still haven’t found the time to learn the rules myself.
So I should update you on what’s been happening. So much has happened I almost don’t know where to start. It’s all so exciting. Well I’ll start with the really good news. A. got the job she applied for. It sounds really impressive whenever she tells people about it. I’ve always wanted to use “The Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons” in a sentence and now I can! In fact I’ve kind of overused it and it’s lost all fun to me and is just sort of a mouthful now. She’s well, and in fact just left for Scotland this morning to visit her ailing grandmother. I’m a bit jealous because she gets to spend a few days in Edinburgh which, as you know, is one of my favourite cities since I lived there for about a year.
On the flip side we were planning things to go horribly awry at her old job. You’ve met her boss, she’s a bit.... insane? Crazy? Complete bitch? Take your pick really. We had an extraction plan ready with code names and everything. She asked me what I wanted my code name to be so I had to think of my a few of my favourite things that would be appropriate. I decided on Rocket Monkey because it would be fast, slightly on the edge of insanity and fairly wily. Also if things went bad she was supposed to call and say, “Rocket Monkey, I’ve achieved escape velocity,” then I’d go pick her up at the designated site. Then A. said she wanted her name to be Ariel the Mermaid and I had to explain to her the appropriateness of code names in covert missions. And she started calling me Monkey Rocket so we just went with Driver and Hitch-hiker with the code “My thumb is extended.” This all amounted to nothing by the way and you probably think we’re insane or that someone has been dumping estrogen pills into our water supply, but I needed to reduce her stress levels somehow.
My parents were here for the last few days as well. We went to my uncle’s 60th birthday and we had a great time. My cheeks were in traction the next day because I broke them from laughing so hard. His sons are as wild and hilarious as he is. How can you not like a speech that is done like the narrator of some nature show talking about this unique specimen and the first line is “I have 23 of your chromosomes.”
Oh, and I made twenty bucks playing Risk. I love mission risk. So much easier, and you can play more than one game in a night without someone being killed off and out of the game.
As for myself, I’ve been well. Played some video games but mostly read in my free time yesterday. I’m also working on a few comic related projects that I may update you with in a few months, weeks, years, I don’t really know when honestly. One involved a credit check I ran on myself, which was really disheartening (goddam student loan arseholes) and the other involves me sharpening some pencils and remembering how to use Flash and Photoshop.
I hope you are well internet. I promise to write more. I really miss you but I figure I shouldn’t bore you if I don’t have much to say.
Thinking of you always,
Jon
ps - I realize my first comic story doesn't really talk about the comic much. Sorry about that. Sometimes I miss the point of blogs.
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