Monday, November 28, 2005

4 - Miguel Figueroa and the Communist Party of Canada.

I think my favourite thing about the Communist Party of Canada is that they are required a leader to be registered as a party but they don’t actually have one listed on their website. I had to go to the Elections Canada website to find out that Miguel Gigueroa was the registered leader.

So these guys would have to be washed up villains or third string heroes. Fifty to twenty years ago they would have been the biggest threat to the free world but now they’re just boring, not terrorists. I really don’t know how to make them more threatening than they already sound. They’re freaking Communists. Once an iron curtain of red terror, now they’re just middle-aged and go on like Grandpa Simpson. It’s sort of sad to see them in this state. If commies were a dog, we’d just put them down to end their suffering.

How about the logo. It’s appropriate. It’s as busy as their website. Their logo is like their text – hey, we can fit some more in there so we should the more images we add, the more text we add makes it better. Why explain yourself in one word when fifteen will do? Same goes for logos – let’s add another cog or sheaf of wheat if there’s some white space, that will make it better.

Then there is the enigma of Miguel Gigueroa. I was hoping for some romantic Latin hero figure like Che Guevera or even Castro. I don’t know if this is the guy but this is what Google image search turned up. He looks pretty badass. I doubt commies support cultural expression like this but he looks like he could have kicked some ass.

I think they would just talk until you either fall asleep or kill yourself then they rob your wallet to fund the revolution. I’m so bored even thinking about the Commies that I can’t even think up funny names for them or funny superpowers. That’s sad. I can’t wait for the next revolution where we can vilify someone without fear of reprisal. I think after seeing this guy here as a villain, the KGBeast turned over in his mausoleum.

Superhero Name: The people’s defender of the proletariat worker on the principles of social justice and communal socialism
Super Powers: Text. Heaps and heaps of text. Reasoned yet passionate debate. Power of organized proletariat.
Weaknesses: The spirit of the individual means the ideology is not sustainable and crumbles when each is unwilling to sacrifice for the whole.
Superhero Team: The Proletariat Defenders of Freedom (PDF for short)
Overall Rating: C- for a once great enemy

No comments: