Marvel, hear my plea!

Oh, you did? Great.

I knew if I got all pissy with you you’d go and do something to make me love you again. Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk was a good read. I really enjoyed it. I think it’s funny how I’m enjoying reworked characters more than their original counterparts. I guess the weight of history is just too much for some characters to take.

Iron Man: The Inevitable was even better. You got me to read an Iron Man comic that didn’t involve the Fantastic Four and large Japanese monsters. Although I think The Basement Tapes and GØDLAND had more to do with it than you Marvel. Thank you for not claiming this book will change my life and bear my children. It was a refreshing change from your usual verbosity.

I know that UWvH was splashed all over the place and it removed the effectiveness of the whole tearing characters apart thing, but maybe I wasn’t paying much attention to you so I missed a lot of the hoopla. I may have been distracted elsewhere but I don’t remember a big stink about it. Thanks for that. And for the writer guy who’s known for doing something on TV that I watched once or twice but gave up on because they were telling the same story each week. Oddly enough I stopped watching his show for the same reason I dropped the comics that I dropped. You are warned.

I hope you are being clever here Mr. TV Writer. That your famous image of Hulk and Wolvie is your visual metaphor for deconstructing the characters. Please be that clever or you’ll let Marvel break my heart all over again.

I want to like the new Excalibur. I was in love with them once but they broke my heart. I still care for you but I was hurt once and I don’t want to go down that road again. If you can prove you’ve changed Marvel, I’ll consider buying this book. I have to admit though, your New Avengers and Young Avengers have let me down. There was no spark there, no connection, on paper we should get along but on our own in a romantic setting there’s just nothing there. I know you’re trying. I know you’re really nice but we just don’t work together very well. That’s okay. We can be friends, just not that involved.