Okay, I'm about to go all "bad stand up comic" on you. Or possibly bad social critic. Sorry, no comics today. Haven't read many recently but tomorrow's Wednesday so that should change.
I'm going to mention how I don't like certain elements of society. I feel they lower our collective IQ and general happiness index quotients.
I'm talking about people who are in-fucking-capable of ordering a coffee and paying for it in under ten minutes. It's ridiculous. Seriously. There should be gated communities for people who need to dig through various items of clothing for a couple of bucks and then have to pay for their coffee with a bank card and then search their being for their "free coffee" punch card.
I swear to god I heard this today while waiting in an ever increasing coffee line. Yes, we were all relatively irritable. "Oh, um I don't have any money, I'll just run out to my car for a minute, it's only 3 blocks away." My response - "No coffee for you! Go to the back of the line." Idiots!
Just once I'm sure I'll see the Eddie Izzard moment of "Can I pay in string? Just a moment then, it's wrapped around my body."
Seriously, how bloody self involved do you have to be to take that long to order a hot beverage in a paper cup? Don't you realize there are others waiting for coffee too? I try to be as quick as I can because I know other people don't want to hear my life story as told to a coffee clerk, hear about any sort of ailment I may have or about how I like hot water mixed with two separate coffees then foamed up with skim milk and that I usually get that for half price because of the water in it.
Gaaaaah! I don't know what it is that makes people into rude arseholes like this? Is it the suburbs? I think it's the suburbs and that they spend too much time isolated in their suburbs and in their cars during their commutes. This leads to them being incapable of taking part in a shared society.
These coffee illiterate are about to overtake Mel Gibson and "people who come into work sick" on my shit list.
Please post your own shit list in the comments section. Mine is so far:
Sweden* - because of Ikea not having all the parts to a bed I purchased for over 3 months, Ace of Base and the generally being better at hockey than Canada these days.
Air Canada - monopolies suck.
Mel Gibson - I won't even watch Braveheart anymore, and I loved that movie - anti-semite bastard.
People who come in sick to work - yeah, I think we can get someone else to sit at your desk and avoid answering the phone.
People who can't pay for their coffee in under two minutes
Cranky Bus Drivers
White Suburban Complainers
Self Righteous Environmentalists
Anyone who goes into detail about their car, stereo, tv, etc.
*Actually I don't have a problem with Sweden ever since they got that bikini team.